


Dial for Assistance

by GhostLightIfYouWill



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: 5+1 Things, Anal Sex, Barebacking, Cockblocking, Consent is Sexy, Dirty Talk, First Dates, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Masturbation, Nude Photos, Oral Sex, Rafael Barba is dramatic, Sexting, Sonny loves him anyway, brief mentions of religion, emojis, songfic (sorta)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-26
Updated: 2020-05-26
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:02:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,521
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24391006
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GhostLightIfYouWill/pseuds/GhostLightIfYouWill
Summary: Five times Sonny sends Rafael nudes and the one time Rafael sends one back.ORThe progression of Sonny and Rafael’s relationship told through sexts.
Relationships: Rafael Barba/Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr.
Comments: 7
Kudos: 126





	Dial for Assistance

**Author's Note:**

  * For [soleadotris](https://archiveofourown.org/users/soleadotris/gifts).



> Happiest of birthdays, Tris. I hope I did the idea justice.
> 
> Title & song lyrics used from Sometimes a Fantasy by Billy Joel. 
> 
> Find me on Twitter: @breathemusicin

**1.** **_sometimes a fantasy is all you need_ **

It all started with a nude. A brush of a fingertip against an arrow on the wrong screen and their relationship was changed forever. How do you come back from _that_ ? It was an _accident_ , and Sonny will say that emphatically until the day he dies. Rafael always insists, with a knowing smirk and a glint flashing sharp in his eyes, that Sonny made the first move: “It was bold, but I appreciated it.” Sonny always denies it. He’ll have the truth written on his gravestone: “I did _not_ mean to send a nude to Rafael Barba.”

* * *

Rafael had been in bed the previous night, just on the edge of drifting off when his phone dinged. 

“Who the _hell_ —” Rafael grumbled with a surprising amount of pomp and circumstance for being roused out of slumber by a text message. 

He was teeming with a sleepy annoyance, brewing in his stomach, as he blindly reached for his phone in the darkness. His eyes adjusted to the bright red of his alarm clock, which alerted him that it was 1:30 in the morning. Surely he hadn’t called his work quits and crawled into bed _that_ late. Cursing himself, he grabbed his phone to find that he’d been sent an image, swiping through straight to the picture without even looking to see what it was or who it was from. 

He brought the phone closer to his face and tried to make out the image through squinted eyes— all he could see was clothing? The exact second he realized _what_ he was seeing, that feeling got warmer and pooled a little deeper into his stomach, a little lower. He was looking at long fingers with neatly manicured nails gripping what, underneath the fabric, appeared to be an impressive erection, more-so in length than girth. Thinking about what the thin, gray fabric of the boxer briefs was hiding was making his mouth water and his own dick twitch with interest. He knew that he had never seen that dick before because if he had, he’d certainly remember it. At the tip, there was a slightly darkened spot in the fabric, and Rafael wondered what this man would taste like, how _sweet_ he’d be. 

He went back to the message screen with a swipe of his thumb, and his eyes drifted up to see who would send him that, not that he’d be complaining. It was a gift, after all. Except, when he saw the name, he _did_ want to complain because what the _hell_ business did _Carisi_ have packing that much heat? For a brief moment, he admired the detective’s ability to hide such an impressive package in those well-tailored pants. He had always seemed so unassuming, other than that pretty pink _come fuck me_ pout. 

For a moment, Rafael considered responding, but he didn’t know what to say, other than a drooling emoji, maybe. So he decided to pretend like he never even opened it. 

“Fuck me,” Rafael muttered. 

He knew he should delete the photo, but instead, he threw the phone face down onto the bedside table and rolled over in a huff to bury his face in his pillow and let out a shout of frustration. As much as he wanted to, he refused to even touch his own dick, which was practically begging for attention underneath his soft, worn flannel pajamas. No, instead, Rafael forced his eyes closed and thought about cases from Civil Procedure until he drifted off. Still, he dreamed about that dick and, even worse, the body and face attached. 

* * *

He wakes up the next morning, covered in a sticky mess, and he groans before jumping into a cold shower. His first stop of the day is going to be the SVU squad room, and he doesn’t know how he’s supposed to get through this. 

Rafael saunters into the squad room and looks around to find Sonny pouring a cup of coffee. He smirks, seeing two things he likes: coffee and cannoli, undoubtedly brought in from Sonny’s favorite bakery on 14th St. Okay, well, there may be a third thing he likes: Sonny Carisi, now, apparently… more specifically, Sonny Carisi’s _dick_. 

Rafael shudders and shakes his head as if the image from the previous night will just dissolve like cotton candy in water. He exhales deeply as he approaches Sonny because that image is still right at the forefront of his thoughts. Seconds later, he’s standing right next to Sonny. The fluorescent lighting in the precinct catches the metal of Sonny’s badge, which is in its usual position, right on his hip. Rafael can’t help but look at the badge, and the picture is back in his mind, and he’s thinking about what the detective has hidden underneath those well-fitted gray suit pants. 

“You okay, Barba? Long night?” Sonny asks. 

“Huh?” he mumbles, eyes flickering up to meet Sonny’s usual unconcerned, half-oblivious gaze. “Yeah, something like that. First cup of the day,” he mutters through a weak grin, as he slides a styrofoam cup from the generous stack next to the coffee pot. 

“Ah, I know that feeling, Counselor,” Sonny says. “Hopefully the caffeine helps.” 

Rafael nods shortly, eyeing Sonny with some skepticism. It occurs to Rafael that there’s no way that Sonny would be acting this _cool_ if he knew that he sent him that photo. 

Having poured his own cup of coffee, Sonny turns and leans against the edge of the table and looks Rafael up and down. Rafael is standing closer to him than normal, and he’s wearing a particularly form-fitting suit with a color-combination that screams ‘look at me!!’ Sonny has to admit that it’s working; he almost can’t tear his eyes away, even when Rafael speaks a few seconds later. 

“Have fun last night, Detective?” Rafael asks, pouring his cup of coffee. 

His smirk is wider than usual, and Sonny is sure _something_ is going on but not what. Sonny regards him quizzically. 

“I— what are you talking about?” he asks, trying— and failing— to maintain an air of ease and calculated indifference. 

“I got your picture. Seemed like you were, uh, having a good time.” 

“Fuck—!” Sonny mutters, choking on his coffee. Rafael pats him on the back, and the touch is almost electric enough to send him into further convulsions. “I sent that to _you_?! Oh, Jesus Christ.” 

“That’s what I said when I opened up the picture.” 

“I’m so sorry, Barba. I didn’t mean to send that to you, I swear.” 

“Oh, that’s a relief,” Rafael quips sarcastically. “Who _did_ you mean to send it to? Not that that’s any of my business.” 

“Meant to text an ex,” Sonny says quietly, shrugging. “Must’ve clicked your contact instead. Uh, his name is close to yours in my phone.” 

“You should be more careful next time. Where you send your…” Rafael trails off and slides his eyes down Sonny’s body to his dick. 

“I don’t need the lecture,” Sonny mumbles, shifting his weight. 

Rafael holds his hands up in mock surrender. 

“I wasn’t going to lecture you.” 

Sonny snorts and stirs his coffee again, even though it has certainly gone lukewarm, just so he can do something with his sweaty, trembling hands. 

“Yeah. Right.”

Sonny knows that Rafael Barba gets off on lecturing people, on being superior, on being _the smartest man in the room._ He clocked those tendencies early on, perhaps within the first hour they met. What Sonny doesn’t know, however, is how much of a run for his money he gives Rafael. When Sonny is around, Rafael doesn’t feel like the smartest man in the room. 

“I wasn’t. I was actually going to ask you out.” 

“You were going to _what_?” Sonny practically splutters.

“ _Was_ going to ask you out... on a date. But if you’re not into it, we can both forget the whole thing happened. I’ll delete the photo, and we’ll move on,” Rafael says, his tone cool and collected, even though he was lying. 

Rafael knew he wouldn’t be able to forget that image. He definitely wouldn’t delete it, not after seeing the way Sonny’s Adam's apple bobbed when he swallowed. 

“You didn’t delete it?” he asks weakly. 

Rafael takes a long sip of his coffee. He deliberately lets some of the liquid stay on his lips and darts his tongue out to gather it, dragging his tongue across his lips slowly, all the while never breaking eye contact with the detective. Rafael smirks and walks away to where the rest of the squad is standing, waiting to brief the case.

His point has been made, and the ball is in Sonny’s court. Sonny lets it go and makes it a point to avoid Rafael as much as possible as they brief the case with the rest of the squad. Of course, that’s easier said than done when Sonny can feel Rafael’s eyes on him, even when he’s not talking. 

After they brief the case and decide what warrants they need, Rafael grabs his briefcase and heads toward the elevator. Sonny watches him walk away for a few seconds until he blinks back into focus. Before Rafael is out of sight, Sonny works up some courage and takes several long strides to catch up with him. 

“Hey, Counselor! Is that offer still on the table?”

Rafael turns around and smiles at Sonny, mischievous at best, wicked at worst. 

“Sure, Detective. I’ll send you a text.” 

* * *

**2 _. sure it would be better if I had you here to hold me_**

For the next two days, Sonny is on edge until, as he’s sitting at his desk finishing up paperwork for the day, he receives a text from Rafael. 

> Barba **⚖️** : _7:00 tonight._
> 
> Det. Carisi: _where?_

The next text is a location, a pin drop on the map. He doesn’t recognize the location or the restaurant, and quite frankly, he can’t be bothered to do a Google search. 

> Det. Carisi: _what should I wear?_
> 
> Barba **⚖️** : _Whatever you were wearing the other night is fine._ 😉

Sonny blushes as typing bubbles appear on his screen. He’s grateful he doesn’t have to respond to that, and his phone dings a few seconds later. 

> Barba **⚖️** : _I know you’re blushing, Carisi. I bet it’s cute. Wear something casual. We’re going to dance after dinner. I want to see what you can do with that body._
> 
> Det. Carisi: _i can do plenty with this body_ 😏 _see you at seven_
> 
> Barba **⚖️** : _Good. Can’t wait._

At seven o’clock, Sonny arrives at a restaurant, wearing a Henley that brings out the color in his eyes and some tight-fitting jeans that show off his best assets, besides his charming personality. Rafael is standing outside. Sonny’s breath hitches when he takes in Rafael’s form. 

He’s wearing a forest green sweater that hugs his arms and stomach in the most tantalizing way, that makes Sonny want to get his hands up underneath that soft material and explore the planes of tanned skin like he’s learning a map, like he’s claiming territory for his own. 

“You look good,” Rafael comments after openly checking Sonny out from head to toe. 

Unashamedly, he wonders what Sonny’s wearing under those jeans, how many layers he’d have to get through to get his hands and mouth on that dick. 

“You do too,” Sonny offers, the comment equally genuine and fond. 

“Shall we?” Rafael says nodding toward the entrance to the restaurant. 

“Lead the way, Counselor,” Sonny says, placing his hand gently on the small of Rafael’s back and following him into the restaurant. 

“Rule number one, Carisi. No honorifics.”

“Not even in the bedroom?” 

“Maybe in the bedroom. We’ll see.” 

Sonny opens his mouth to respond, but Rafael is telling the hostess that they’d like a table for two as soon as possible. The restaurant is refined, but they didn’t take reservations. After hearing the wait time, Rafael says a few hushed words that Sonny can’t quite make out, hands the young woman a twenty-dollar bill, and throws her an absolutely disarming wink.

“I didn’t just witness a bribe, did I?” Sonny asks, pouting his lips. 

“The money? No. The wink? Yes.” 

“For the record it works on me, if you ever need to bribe a detective.”

“If I ever plan on committing a felony, I’ll let you know.” 

Sonny laughs as they follow the hostess to their table in the back of the restaurant. He takes it upon himself to take two long strides ahead of Rafael so that he can pull out his chair. 

“Ah, a gentleman. Thank you.” 

“Did you expect anything less?” Sonny says as he takes his own across from Rafael and scoots closer to the table. 

“Of course not, Carisi,” Rafael says, grinning, “although _I_ was the one who asked _you_ out.” 

“Well, then consider it an apology for that text.”

“You do not need to apologize for that, believe me.”

“You can call me Sonny, ya know.”

“I’ll think about it. Maybe if tonight goes well.”

“I hope you’ll consider other things as well.” 

“I might. How does a bottle of red wine sound to you?”

“It sounds lovely. I’m okay with whatever you want.”

Rafael regards him slowly and nods. They order their food, Rafael getting a steak and Sonny a pasta dish with meat sauce. Rafael makes a snide yet fond comment about Sonny’s unbelievably stereotypical penchant for Italian cuisine, and Sonny takes it in stride. He uses it as an opportunity to ask Rafael about his own life, his heritage. 

As Rafael tells him about his immigrant relatives and his favorite Cuban dishes and music and artists, he is thoroughly fascinated by this man’s mind. They talk about theatre and law school and moving to Manhattan from their respective boroughs. The conversation flows easily as they both share bits and pieces of their pasts and presents. 

Toward the end of their meal, Rafael picks up the check, despite Sonny’s protests. Rafael reminds him that he’s the one who asked Sonny out, yet again. 

“I don’t want this to end,” Sonny admits, draining the remainder of his wine. 

“It’s not going to. I said we’re going to go dancing.” 

As they leave the restaurant, Sonny asks, “Where are you taking me?” 

“Just a place where we won’t stand out. Nobody will think twice about seeing us there.” 

Sonny nods and follows Rafael. Their hands are dangling at their sides, brushing gently against each other every few steps. Sonny can’t work up the courage to take Rafael’s hand. 

“How’s it going so far?” Sonny asks a few blocks later. 

“Excellent.” 

“Good enough to call me by my name?” 

Sonny brushes his hand against Rafael’s more deliberately, more insistent this time. 

“We’re getting there,” Rafael says and laces his fingers with Sonny’s. “You should know I don’t put out on the first date.” 

“Somehow I don’t think that’s true.” 

Rafael doesn’t even attempt at making a show of mock offense. He doesn’t feel the need to grandstand in Sonny’s presence. There’s no one to perform for, and he can just _be_ , right at Sonny’s side. It’s comforting in a way that Rafael doesn’t ever remember experiencing. 

“Maybe when I was in college, but I’m afraid those days are long gone. I’ve mellowed out in my old age.” 

“Old age. Fuck off,” Sonny says, but he’s laughing, bumping his shoulder into Rafael’s playfully. 

“Seriously, we’re going to have a good time then go our separate ways.”

“Whatever you want, Rafael. I’m an easy date.” 

“Can you dance?”

“I can hold my own. I’ll follow your lead.” 

“Are you always this submissive?” Rafael asks with a raised eyebrow. 

“I’m whatever you want me to be.”

“I want you to be yourself, okay?”

“I’m only ever myself.” 

“Good,” Rafael comments neutrally then lowers his voice to a stage whisper. “I’m liking what I’ve seen so far, for the record.”

“Likewise.” 

Rafael stops when they reach the club, and as the bouncer lets them in, Rafael takes the lead again, pulling Sonny into the crowd of people. Even off-duty, Sonny would usually take stock of his surroundings, but all he can focus on is Rafael. He has Sonny by the hand, dragging him onto the dance floor, and then their bodies are closer than they ever have been, and they’re swaying with the music pumping through the speakers. 

“Do you want anything to drink?” Rafael asks. 

“Nope. Just want to touch you,” Sonny says. 

They fall into a rhythm quickly, as though they’d been together for a lifetime. As they dance, Sonny lets his hands explore Rafael’s body, strictly above the waistline, although he does slide his hands into Rafael’s back pockets to pull him closer at one point. Rafael responds favorably to every touch, and Sonny’s sure that if he touches Rafael in the right ways, he’d be putty in his hands. 

“Told you I know how to move my body, huh?”

“You did,” Rafael agrees and hums contentedly at the way their bodies are moving together, so perfectly in sync.

Rafael turns around to face away from Sonny, and Sonny’s hands slide around Rafael’s waist to rest on his hips. Rafael pushes back against Sonny’s grinding, swaying his hips in time with Sonny’s movements. 

“Are you sure that’s legal?” Sonny asks, nipping at Rafael’s earlobe.

“What’re you gonna do about it? Put me in handcuffs?”

“Only if you want me to. Or you could handcuff me.”

When Rafael throws his head back and laughs, deep and hearty, Sonny is struck by how different this Rafael is, how loose and open and sensual. Rafael closes his hand over Sonny’s and drags it lower until Sonny is cupping the very obvious bulge in Rafael’s pants. Sonny moans into the back of Rafael’s neck and inhales deeply, his head spinning with the scent of bergamot and spruce. 

Without warning, Sonny spins Rafael around so they’re facing each other. Sonny groans, low in his throat, at the way their hips connect.

“Are you trying to get fresh with me, Detective?” Rafael asks, smirking and leaning into Sonny’s touches. 

“No— well, yes, but that’s not why— Rollins is here.” 

“ _Rollins_ ? What the fuck is she doing _here_?” Rafael hisses. 

“I don’t know, but we just made eye contact.” 

“Did she see me?” 

“I doubt she knows it’s you. If you slide into the crowd, you can probably get outta here without her seeing you.” 

“What about you?”

“I can handle her. I’ll probably have to stick around.” Rafael’s face falls, and Sonny adds immediately, “I’ll make it up to you, I promise.” 

Sonny looks at Rafael with what could only be described as bedroom eyes. 

“I’m going to hold you to that.”

“I wish I could kiss you right now. And do some other things.” 

“It’s okay. Raincheck?” 

Sonny nods, and Rafael squeezes Sonny’s hand before letting go and drifting into the crowd, just as Rollins makes her way over to Sonny. 

“Carisi! What are you doing here?” Amanda asks. 

She has a drink— vodka soda, Sonny assumes— in one hand and uses the other to clap Sonny on the shoulder, just hard enough to make him wince. 

“I could ask you the same thing, Rollins. I’m here with some friends from law school.” 

“Yeah? Where are they?” she challenges, looking around to the mass of people who very clearly have no idea who he is, which is probably a good thing. 

Without Rafael by his side, hands wrapped around his waist, he’s a fish out of water amongst this crowd, and they both know it. 

Sonny shrugs and says, “Lost ‘em.” 

“Didn’t I see you getting a little friendly with a guy over here? Where’d he go?” 

“No, just some drunk guy.” 

“Sure, Carisi,” Rollins says, but it’s clear that she doesn’t believe a word that’s coming out of his mouth. 

“I’m gonna try to, uh, find my friends. See you tomorrow, Amanda.” 

He nods politely and works his way through the crowd until he reaches the door. As Sonny steps out into the crisp night air, he looks around, briefly hopeful that Rafael decided to stick around. 

“Fuck,” Sonny mutters. 

Sonny shoves his hands deep into his pockets, and the whole trip home, he wonders whether Rafael left the club as hard-up as he did. The only thing Sonny wants to do is call Rafael and invite him over. Maybe have a few more drinks then take it to the bedroom and see where things go. He’s not picky. He’d be happy if Rafael just let him watch. 

Despite his arousal, he recalls Rafael’s statement about not putting out on the first date and decides to respect him and let it go. They can have fun some other time. That doesn’t have to stop him from having a _little_ fun now, he figures, so he sends Rafael a text.

> Det. Carisi: _sorry our night got cut short... here’s a little something so you don’t have to watch porn tonight._ 😘

Attached is a photo of Sonny that makes Rafael bite his lip straight away to hold in a pathetic whimper. This time, it’s clear the picture wasn’t an accident. Sonny is still wearing the same clothes he was wearing on their date. He’s in what looks to be his bathroom. His jeans have been pushed down, enough that Rafael can see a glimpse of Sonny’s thighs, which are surprisingly well-built. There’s some flesh showing above the band of Sonny’s boxer briefs, maroon tonight, and Rafael can see just the hint of a happy trail. Underneath his boxers, Sonny is definitely hard, and Rafael realizes that he’s even more well-endowed than the previous photo had led him to believe. And while he desperately wishes Sonny had included his whole face in the photo, he doesn’t really care because _goddammit_ , Rafael realizes, Sonny is biting his lip. 

Suddenly Rafael wants to confess his love— _fuck, I love you, please come over_ — for Sonny Carisi right then and there, but he thinks better of going all-in too fast and settles for typing back something considerably less affectionate and overtly lust-driven. 

> Barba ⚖️: _I think I’ll cash in on that rain check soon._
> 
> Det. Carisi: _sounds good. sleep well, rafael._
> 
> Rafael ⚖️: _I will. You too, Sonny._

This time, Rafael gives in to the thoughts brought up by seeing Sonny in this way. He shoves his jeans halfway down his thighs and takes himself into his hand, stroking tentatively at first and quickening as he thinks about what Sonny’s hand would look and feel like wrapped around his dick. 

He can’t recall the last time he ached to explore someone the way he wants to for Sonny. He wants to learn every ridge and plane and curve of that body and memorize it like the back of his own hand. As he feels his orgasm begin to build, he briefly considers sending a photo of himself with his cock in his hand to Sonny but thinks better of it and jerks himself to completion, still standing right there in his entryway, groaning Sonny’s name brokenly as he finishes.

Yeah, he’d definitely be cashing in that rain check soon. 

* * *

**3.** **_be better, baby, but believe me it's the next best thing_ **

> Sonny 😇: _staten island is boring without you_ **😕**
> 
> Rafael 🤗: _I’m sorry. I wish I could’ve come._
> 
> Rafael 🤗: _What are you doing?_
> 
> Sonny 😇: _just got back from mass_ 😇
> 
> Rafael 🤗: _Mass? Does that mean you’re wearing a suit?_ 👀

Instead of texting back, Sonny snaps a selfie, taken from the chest up. Before sending it, he swipes through the filters and decides on the one that makes his eyes shine an even brighter blue than usual and highlights his cheeks, which are slightly flushed from the heat in the kitchen. Almost immediately after the message shows that it has been read, Sonny’s phone rings. 

“Are you alone?” Rafael blurts out before Sonny can say anything.  
“Well, hello to you too, sweetheart,” Sonny laughs. 

Even though she’s leaning against the refrigerator halfway across the room, Bella gives him a knowing look, teasing him with her eyes. He responds by throwing her the middle finger, earning him a slap to the back of head by his Aunt Gianna. Bella turns back to her discussion with Tommy, and Sonny leaves his seat and creeps to the edge of the kitchen, where he can hear Rafael better. 

“Are you alone?” Rafael repeats. 

“No, I’m at my ma’s house, Rafi. You know that.” 

“You have time before dinner, right?” 

“Well, yeah, I guess. What’s up?”

“Go to your room.”

“Okay,” Sonny says hesitantly, but he follows Rafael’s instructions. 

He politely excuses himself from the group gathered in the kitchen, although with the impressive level of noise filling up the small space, he’s not sure anyone would even notice his departure. 

“You have headphones, don’t you? I bought you a new pair for Christmas.” 

“Yeah, I do— Wait, aren’t you in the office?” 

“No. Get the headphones, Sonny.”

“You— I—” Sonny splutters, clicking the lock on the door, just in case. 

“Do I have to tell you twice?” 

“No, no,” Sonny stutters out, fumbling for his AirPods on the nightstand, which he puts in his ears, hands shaking. “I have them.”

“Good boy. Lie on the bed, and put your phone on the bed next to you. I want both of your hands free.” Rafael waits a few seconds for Sonny to comply with his directions and continues, “Tell me what you’re wearing.”

“Oh,” Sonny breathes and flushes in realization at what is happening. Still, he looks down at his outfit. “Uhm, Harvard shirt and, uh, jeans.”

“Yeah, I saw in the picture. You look extra pretty today. Is that _my_ shirt, Sonny?”

“Yeah, I miss you,” Sonny offers weakly.

It’s true. Anytime he goes to Staten Island lately, even just for the night, he makes sure to bring the shirt along with him. Even though it doesn’t smell like Rafael anymore, it’s still a piece of him that he likes having close to him. Rafael doesn’t know that he stole it from his dresser when he stayed the night one time. Sonny is grateful that he isn’t annoyed about it. 

“I miss you too, _cariño_. I can’t wait to see you again. Get my hands on you.”

“I’ll be back tomorrow.” 

“Not soon enough,” Rafael laments, his voice low and thick with arousal. 

Just by the sound of his voice, Sonny knows what Rafael looks like right now, what kind of state he is in. At this moment, he’s in the early stages of his arousal. His tongue is darting out to wet his lips because they’ve gone dry at his heavier, quickened breaths. Sonny thinks about how that warm breath would feel against his ear, against his nipples. 

“Are we really doing— this?” Sonny asks. 

“Only if you’re okay with it.”

“I— we can try it.” 

“We can take it slow.” 

The way Rafael always makes sure he’s comfortable when trying new things makes it easier to branch out. It’s not that he’d been vanilla before Rafael, but he’d be lying if he said that Rafael hadn’t taught him countless things about how to please both himself and another man. Before Rafael, sex had always had a singular focus: orgasm. But Rafael showed him that there was so much more. “The journey is the most exciting part,” Rafael would say. 

“Okay. How do I start?” Sonny asks, trying to hide his uncertainty. 

“Let me take the lead. Just do what I say, okay?” 

“Yeah, I can do that,” Sonny agrees, nodding even though Rafael can’t see him. 

“Yeah, you’re good at that, huh? Such a good boy for me, Sonny, doing what I say.” 

“Only for you, Rafi.” 

“Yeah, it’s just for me. You’re mine, aren’t you? That’s why you’re wearing my shirt, isn’t it?”

“Yes,” Sonny admits, with a whimper. “Do you want me to take it off?”

He hasn’t even touched himself, but he’s already feeling wound up deep in his belly. There’s a fear of getting caught nagging at the back of his mind, but his growing arousal at Rafael’s words and tone push that thought out of his mind even more.

“No, leave the shirt on. I want you to cum all over it for me.”

“I thought you said slow,” Sonny groans as his dick twitches in his jeans. 

“That’s the end goal. _Relájate, querido_. Can you do that for me?”

“I think so.”

Sonny draws in a deep breath and releases it slowly as he allows the tension to melt away and focuses on Rafael’s voice, the rich but gravelly timbre vibrating in his ears through the rest of his body. 

“You want to be a good boy for me, right, Sonny?” 

“Jesus, Rafael. Yes,” Sonny breathes. 

“Okay, yeah, I like it when you say my name like that.” 

Rafael draws in a breath, which fills Sonny with a sense of accomplishment and pride. He’s doing _good._ He’s making his lover feel good. He’d chase that high forever if he could. 

“Rafael,” Sonny repeats, breathier this time, more laden with lust and desire. 

In all honesty, Sonny has had girlfriends try to initiate phone sex before, and he was never into it. But with Rafael saying these things directly into his ears? It’s just _doing it_ for him. 

“Are you hard for me?” Rafael asks. 

“Yes.”

His dick is straining against the zipper of his jeans, and he’s so hard that it’s almost painful. Sonny lifts his hand with the intention of pressing his palm against his cock, just for some relief. 

“Good. Don’t touch yourself,” Rafael orders, as if he had been reading Sonny’s mind.

He might as well be in Sonny’s mind, truthfully. The way they come together in the bedroom— or wherever they hook up— is intensely electric, and they’re always on the same wavelength, reading each other’s minds and bodies like they’re scripture. And they are. When they make love, they’re creating gospel. Even now, thirty miles apart, they’re still spilling words onto the page, almost painfully in sync. 

“Guess what I’m doing right now, Sonny.” 

“I dunno,” Sonny says noncommittally. 

“No, come on, guess.” 

“Touching yourself?” Sonny offers weakly.

“You can do better than that,” Rafael encourages. 

“I— I don’t want anyone to hear.”

“Then you’ll have to be quiet, won’t you, _mi amor_? You can do that for me, right?” 

“Yes, Rafi. Anything— anything for you.” 

“You’re good with your mouth, Sonny. I like the noises you make.”

“I wish I could see you right now, Raf.” 

“I know. Take your pants off for me, sweetheart.” 

“Fuck, thank you,” Sonny exhales. 

Sonny wastes no time in canting his hips up so that he can shove his jeans down and kick them to the bottom of the bed.

“Don’t touch. I didn’t say you could touch, did I?” Sonny whines loudly in frustration. “Careful. Don’t want anyone to hear, do you?” 

“Uh-uh,” Sonny whimpers. “‘m sorry.”

“It’s okay, _mi novio_. You are so good for me. How did I get so lucky?” 

“I’m the lucky one here, Rafi.” 

Rafael moans, high-pitched and breathy. Sonny can hear the sounds of Rafael stroking his own cock, and he feels his dick pulsate pre-cum, darkening a spot on his boxer briefs. 

“Can I touch, Rafi? Please?” 

“Not yet. Touch your nipples first.” 

“Why are you making me tease myself?” Sonny complains, and even he can’t deny how pathetic it sounds. 

“Because it makes me hard,” Rafael replies, not missing a beat. 

“Okay, yes, that’s— I’m listening.” 

Sonny snakes his hands up underneath the shirt and rolls his nipples in between his thumbs and index fingers. He has to actively suppress a groan at the action. Rafael knows exactly how sensitive his nipples are, and it occurs to Sonny that that’s why he’s demanding he do this. 

“Good boy. Close your eyes for me. Imagine it’s me touching you. You know, I love how you respond when I touch you. Tell me how you’re feeling.” 

“I’m— good,” Sonny manages. “My cock is leaking. Wanna touch.” 

Sonny knows how much Rafael likes it when he gets dirty. The more vulgar and explicit the dirty talk, the better. 

“Fuck, Sonny, that’s— You can touch your cock, but go slow. Pretend it’s me touching you.”

Sonny keens verbally and physically as he grips himself through his underwear, giving himself a few firm strokes. The wet fabric slides down his length, and his breath hitches at the sensation. 

“That feels so good. Wish it was you.” 

“I’m gonna make you cum in your pants one day, Sonny. How does that sound? Would you want that?” 

“Yes, Rafi, please. Want that so bad.” 

Sonny dips his hand into his underwear and squeezes at the base of his cock. He starts stroking, loose and languid, not wanting to finish too fast. 

“What else do you want, Sonny?” 

“I wanna be good for you. Wanna get down on my knees for you.”

“Yeah? Let me finish on that pretty fucking face? Make you all dirty?” 

“God, yes. I love the way you taste.” 

Sonny thinks about it, the way Rafael’s cum tastes, sweet and salty and speeds up his thrusts. Rafael’s breathing becomes even heavier in his ear, and he can tell that Rafael is doing the same thing. 

“I’m close, Rafi.” 

“Yes. That’s it. Good boy,” Rafael encourages. “Cum for me, Sonny.”

“ _Fu_ — _uck_ ,” Sonny moans brokenly. 

He lets go, biting his lip almost hard enough to draw blood to stop himself from screaming as his orgasm tears through his entire body, sending wave after wave of electric through his muscles. 

“Send me a picture. Now, Sonny. I’m so close.”

Rafael sounds desperate in a way Sonny had never heard before. This is the closest Rafael Barba has ever come to begging, and who the hell is he to refuse him? 

Sonny scrambles to take a halfway-decent selfie. As usual, the photo doesn’t contain his face, only his swollen pink lips, still parted as he tries to catch his breath. What the photo does show, however, more than makes up for what is lacking. 

Sonny’s still hard cock is resting against the hem of the t-shirt, which has been pushed up just a bit to show his belly. A few drops of cum are still pooled at the tip. The stripes of Sonny’s cum go all the way across the letters— most of it landing on the first A— up to the worn-out collar of the maroon shirt, a stark contrast to the milky white that now decorates the front. 

“Did you get it?” Sonny asks.

A strangled grunt in confirmation is the only response Sonny receives, and that’s all he needs to know that Rafael is _right on the edge._ All he needs is a little encouragement to tip over. 

“Cum for me, Rafi. Please.” 

Rafael shouts Sonny’s name, open and wanton.

“That was...” Rafael says, once he’s able to breathe again. 

“Yeah,” Sonny agrees, and they both laugh. 

“Thank you for indulging me, Sonny.” 

“You’re welcome. I had fun. You better delete that picture, though,” Sonny says, but there’s no harshness in his tone. 

“You better go wash my shirt,” Rafael counters. “I don’t want cum stains on my alma mater’s good name.” 

“It’s mine now,” Sonny says, “ _but_ you can have it back if you delete that photo.”

Rafael pauses and chuckles. 

“Enjoy your new shirt, Sonny.” 

* * *

**4.** **_i'm sure there's many times you've wanted me to hear your secrets_ **

“You know you have no case, Barba, so why don’t we just— Do you want to get that?” Rita asks, as his phone buzzes on his desk for the fourth time in the ten minutes they’ve been talking— arguing, really— over this case. 

“If it’ll appease you, sure,” Rafael snarks sarcastically, making no move to pick up his phone. 

“Check your damn phone, Rafael,” she demands with a wave of her hand. “It’s clearly important.”

Rafael could never say no to Rita when she spoke to him like that. When they were in law school, she would tell him to get his nose out of the books and have a little fun. Without Rita’s insistence, Rafael probably wouldn’t have gotten laid at all during those three years of hell. 

Rafael rolls his eyes and makes a show at grabbing his phone and swiping into his messages with Sonny, of which there were several unread. 

> Sonny 🍆: _are you done with your meeting?_
> 
> Sonny 🍆: _come on rafael hurry up_ 😒
> 
> Sonny 🍆: _i’m so bored_ 😢

And then an image: Sonny’s cock, hard and leaking, in his hand. Rafael’s face instantly grows hot, and his pants tighten.

“Is everything okay?” Rita asks. 

Rafael’s eyes snap up from his phone to find Rita looking at him intently, her genuine concern apparent. 

“Yes, why?” 

“You look like you’ve just seen a ghost.”

“Not quite, but I do need to take care of something, Rita,” he says, gesturing to his phone dramatically. “It’s been a pleasure, as always. Carmen will reschedule you.” 

Rita regards him skeptically but purses her lips and nods before grabbing her briefcase and leaving with a flourish, her expensive heels clicking against the floor. 

He waits until the door has clicked behind Rita before dialing Sonny, who answers on the third ring. _The fucking nerve._

“Sonny, what the _fuck_?” Rafael hisses. 

“Aw, I’m sorry, Rafi,” Sonny pouts. 

“Don’t start that innocent puppy dog routine with me, Sonny. You _knew_ I was in a meeting. With _Rita_ ,” Rafael chides. 

Rafael has learned just how insufferable Sonny is when he’s horny and needy. Realistically, though, he knows he’s the same way. Hell, if he’s honest, he’s probably worse than Sonny ever could be. Still, that doesn’t stop him from being annoyed. 

“I thought you might be done. I miss you.” 

“Sonny, that’s no excuse.” 

“No, Rafi _, I miss you_.” 

“Where are you?” 

“In bed.”

“Are you on my side of the bed?” 

“Yes.” 

“Dammit, Sonny. I should punish you for this.” 

“Oh, really? How would you do that, Counselor?” 

“I won’t let you fuck me for a week. _And_ I’ll fuck you so hard you’ll scream my name, but I won’t touch you. So if you want to cum, you’ll have to do it just from my dick.” 

“I like the sound of that.” 

“It’s supposed to be a punishment, Sonny.” 

“You've never really been good at that though, have you?” 

“You’re fucking _kidding,_ right?” Rafael splutters. 

They’ve both explored being dominant and submissive in the bedroom. Ties, belts, blindfolds. Just a week prior, Rafael had Sonny on his hands and knees, begging for release, saying he was sorry over and over again. After, Sonny had told him he had never cum harder. Rafael knows he’s good, not as good as Sonny, but he’s _good._

“You know I’m just riling you up, right?” Sonny asks. 

He sounds only slightly concerned, more amused and proud than anything, and that makes Rafael’s stomach twist. He wants to teach Sonny a lesson in respect. 

“Yes, and it’s pissing me off.” 

“Oh yeah? Then why’s your dick hard?” Sonny questions. 

“I’m not—” Rafael protests. 

“Yes, you are. I know you like the back of my hand, Rafael.” 

“Oh, do you? Then what’s going through my mind right now?” Rafael challenges.

“Hmm,” Sonny considers. “You’re thinking about how great it would feel if I ate you out until you were begging for my cock. Oh, and you’re desperately trying not to take your cock out right now in your office.” 

“Fuck off, Sonny,” Rafael grumbles, caught. 

“Okay, I’ll just hang up and finish myself off,” Sonny mock threatens. 

“Oh, no you don’t! You started this, Sonny. You’re going to finish it.” 

“Okay, okay.” 

“Tell me what you’d do to me if I were there.” 

Several months ago, Sonny would have balked at the situation, but after months of sex with Rafael, always comfortable, exploratory, and encouraging, Sonny feels emboldened enough to just go for broke. 

“See, I know you’ve had a long day, so I’d start by massaging your whole body, getting you nice and oiled up, working your muscles until you’re loose and pliant underneath me, just ready to fall apart. I’d tease you with the tips of my fingers. I’d rub your ass and then lick your hole open, work you with my fingers until you’re ready to take my cock. I know you like a little bit of a stretch when I fuck you, don’t you?”

“Yeah, yes, I do. You fit inside me perfectly, Sonny.”

“Like you were made for me,” Sonny agrees. 

Rafael doesn’t believe in soulmates, but even he has to admit there is something _special_ about the connection he has with Sonny Carisi. They do fit together nicely, in every way possible.

“You’re always so tight, Rafael. Swear to God I’ve never fucked someone as tight as you. I’d take you from behind, Rafi. Get my fingers in your hair and pull hard how I know you like it.” 

“Wait, Sonny. I— I can’t— wait...” Rafael trails off. 

Rafael is suddenly acutely aware of how _empty_ he feels. It has been a while since Sonny had taken him, and the thought of it has his entire body and mind on edge, a veritable live wire. Sonny’s words are too much for Rafael to bear hearing while being unable to touch himself. His cock is already hard and leaking in his pants, and he’s grateful he chose a more loose-fitting black suit to wear. 

“What’s wrong, Rafael?” 

Sonny sounds genuinely concerned, perhaps maybe a bit scared. Rafael yearns to soothe him, but his brain can only focus on one thing. 

“No, nothing. I— will talk to you in a bit.”

“Ok—” 

Rafael hangs up before he can hear the rest of Sonny’s statement, grabs his briefcase, and leaves his office, closing the door with such force that Carmen jumps from behind her desk. Rafael just barely has the presence of mind to feel the slightest bit of guilt. The rest of his mind is already at home in their bed, making good on all the promises Sonny had made. 

“Sorry, Carmen. Hold my calls, reschedule meetings if you have to. I’ll be taking a long lunch. Not sure how long I’ll be.”

“Of course, Mr. Barba. Tell Detective Carisi I said hello.” 

“Will do,” Rafael responds without looking back because he couldn’t let Carmen see the grin on his face. 

Rafael actively has to resist running through the hallways so that he can get home faster. In the elevator, he orders an Uber and types out a text to Sonny, even though his hands are trembling profusely with arousal and anticipation.

> Rafael 🍑: _I will be home in twenty minutes. You better have your cock in me within thirty._
> 
> Sonny 🍆: _yes counselor_ 😉😇

* * *

**5.** **_don't be afraid to say the words that move me_ **

Fidgeting in his chair at the last event of the day, as the speaker drones on and on about civil litigation, Rafael is just on the edge of falling asleep. He tuned out some time ago because what the hell did he care about civil litigation? There’s a reason Civil Procedure cases put him to sleep. His phone buzzes in his pocket, nearly making him jump. 

> Sonny 🌻: _miss you_

Attached to the text is a nude, relatively tasteful, yet Rafael’s breath still hitches. It’s been a while since Rafael had received a nude from Sonny. They’ve been together more often than not. In fact, this is the first weekend in two months that they’ve spent apart. Even when their work schedules don’t quite match up, which is often, they always manage to find some time, whether it’s sleepy sex on a Sunday morning or a quick fuck when Sonny joins Rafael in the shower. 

Rafael has grown to be incredibly grateful to have Sonny Carisi in his life, and the contents of this photo is just one of the reasons. At first, it was all about sex, all about finding out what was hidden underneath those gray boxer briefs. It had quickly turned into more, though, when Rafael discovered early on— not to much of his surprise because he’s not _that_ much of an oblivious idiot— that Sonny Carisi is a man who can keep up with him in every way and then some. Sonny’s wit matches his own, and even better, he challenges him in all the best ways. They’re both the better for their relationship, and that wasn’t something Rafael had ever experienced before, so he has no plans of letting that go, if he can help it. 

His rush of positively sappy emotions aside, seeing Sonny’s dick still affected him greatly. After looking around to make sure no one is watching him, he returns to his text messages and opens up the picture again to study it more intently. It’s not as explicit as the last nude Sonny sent him, which had been more than two months prior. This time is a first, though: an ass shot. He briefly marvels at the way Sonny had been able to contort his body to capture such a perfect image of the swell of his ass, the pale skin a stark contrast to the navy blue of his boxers. Rafael instantly finds himself wanting to touch and bite and taste. 

He groans quietly and looks at his watch. He has about half an hour until he’s done with events for the day, and he can return to his room on the fourth floor and take care of the problem Sonny had so blessedly given him. In the meantime, he decides to text Sonny back. 

> Rafael 🐨: _Where are you? That background looks familiar._
> 
> Sonny 🌻: _not at liberty to say, still undercover_ 😢 _how is the conference?_
> 
> Rafael 🐨: _Boring without you. Although that photo will make my evening a little bit better._
> 
> Sonny 🌻: _you’re welcome._ _have any fun plans?_
> 
> Rafael 🐨: _Just to look at that photo. Respectfully, of course, with no ulterior motive._
> 
> Sonny 🌻: _i’m sure. sorry i won’t be able to help_
> 
> Rafael 🐨: _It’s okay. I’ll see you when you get home. Do you know how much longer you’ll be under?_
> 
> Sonny 🌻: _no._ 😕 _i do have to go tho. see you soon_ 💙
> 
> Rafael 🐨: _Not soon enough. Stay safe._
> 
> Sonny 🌻: _always_ 🤗😘

Rafael locks his phone and tucks it safely inside the inner pocket of his blazer jacket. He’s grateful for his decision to forego a tie because he would be desperately needing to loosen it right about now. 

He’s determined to make it through the rest of this panel and actually get something out of it. Unfortunately, all that’s on his mind is Sonny and how this is the worst day possible to be without him. He’s grateful when the speaker thanks the audience for listening. He gives a few obligatory handshakes and mildly appreciative comments after and books it to his room as fast as he can, hitting the button on the elevator door several times. 

He slides the card in the door and immediately slides out of his suit jacket. He rounds the corner to the beds with the intention of throwing himself— with dignity, and not at all like a child, of course— onto the bed. But standing at the foot of the bed is Sonny.

“Rafi.” 

“Sonny. You’re here.”

“In the flesh,” Sonny says.

He’s wearing a light gray suit with a white button-up, no tie, the same pants he was wearing in that photo. 

“I thought you were—” 

“I lied.” 

After staring for a few more seconds, Rafael rushes into Sonny’s still-open arms, pulling him close. 

“Not that I’m complaining, but why are you here?” Rafael asks. 

“For you.” 

“Obviously. I guess I mean how.” 

“Told the staff I needed in this room. Police business,” he says, jutting his hip out to call attention to his badge. “Came straight here. Practically had to beg the lieu to let me take the time off.” 

“You didn’t tell her why, did you?”

“Course not. I know how private you are.”

“For your sake too,” Rafael reminds him. 

Sonny kisses Rafael on the forehead.

“I know. I’m not upset about it, Rafael.” 

“I know I don’t say it enough, but thank you, Sonny. For everything. For coming. For being so understanding. For putting up with me.”

“Not gonna lie to you and say it’s easy, but _fuck_ , is it worth it.” 

Rafael pulls Sonny in close again, raising up onto the tips of his toes, so he can bury his nose in Sonny’s neck, kissing at his collarbone. 

“You gonna hug me forever?” Sonny asks. 

“I’m comfortable like this, if you don’t mind,” Rafael says, his voice muffled.

Sonny hums and replies, “I am too. I could hold you forever. I was just thinking about… other things.”

Interest piqued, Rafael leans back to look Sonny in his eyes, which are darkened and swimming with sparkles like a sky about to rain. And suddenly, Rafael wants to get very, very wet. 

“Tell me more.” 

“I could do that. Or I could show you,” Sonny offers, sinking to his knees, not breaking eye contact with Rafael. 

“Yeah, I’d like that.” 

“Can I?” 

Sonny looks up at him, lips parted, eyes wide and eager. Rafael reaches down and runs his thumbs across Sonny’s lips. Rafael hums happily as Sonny takes Rafael’s thumb into his mouth and sucks tentatively, brushing his tongue across the pad of his thumb and grazing his teeth lightly against his knuckle. 

“Of course. I’ve missed this pretty mouth.” 

Sonny releases Rafael’s thumb and mouths wetly at the outline of Rafael’s dick. 

“I’ve missed your cock.” 

With that, Sonny wastes no time undoing the button and taking down the zipper on Rafael’s pants. In one smooth movement, he tugs his pants and underwear down, freeing Rafael’s cock, thick and red, the glistening tip pleading for attention. Sonny rubs up and down Rafael’s thighs firmly and cups his ass. Rafael lets his eyes close and his head fall back, preparing himself for the first touch of Sonny’s mouth. It doesn’t come, and suddenly, Sonny rises to his feet. Rafael groans at the loss of contact. 

“Get on the bed, and get the rest of this off,” Sonny instructs, gesturing generally at the remaining clothes on Rafael’s body. “I wanna see you.” 

Rafael complies immediately. Less than a minute later, his clothes are thrown as neatly as possible over the back of a chair. Sonny also takes his clothes off, leaving on his navy blue boxer briefs so that he can feel the friction of the cotton fabric against his dick. By the time Sonny is done undressing, Rafael is flat on his back on the bed. Sonny leers at him affectionately before climbing onto the bed over Rafael and knocking his legs apart with the press of his knee low between Rafael’s thighs. 

Sonny positions himself between Rafael’s spread legs and starts placing open-mouthed kisses down his body. One of Rafael’s hands is above his head, the other is in Sonny’s hair, pulling gently to encourage Sonny to get on with it, but Sonny wants to savor this. 

“Beautiful,” Sonny mumbles. Rafael flushes and looks away, partially burying his face in the pillow. “No, you are, Rafael. You are the most beautiful person I’ve ever laid my eyes on. I thank God every single day that I met you.”

Rafael can’t agree or protest because Sonny takes one of his nipples into his mouth, biting and pulling with his teeth lightly. It’s muscle memory at this point, knowing just how much pressure to apply so that Rafael can ride that fine line between pain and pleasure— just a little more pain than pleasure, of course, because Rafael likes it like that. Rafael gasps, and his hand tightens in Sonny’s hair. Sonny responds with a grateful moan at the sensation. 

“Let’s not talk about God right now.”

They both know that Rafael is giving Sonny a hard time, that he doesn’t believe the way Sonny does. It doesn’t bother either of them. Rafael goes to mass with him sometimes, and they hold hands while sitting in the pews, only letting go when Sonny gets down to kneel. If Rafael were honest, the way Sonny is so devout and earnest warms his heart. He only wishes he could be the same. 

“There’s nothing shameful about what we do, Rafael. The way we love each other is the godliest thing we can do.” 

“We’re still unmarried, Sonny. _Living in sin_.” 

“I hope you know I intend to change that someday.”

Rafael’s body stiffens then relaxes when Sonny runs his tongue along the rim of Rafael’s belly-button, barely dipping his tongue in to tease him. Sonny discovered that particular soft spot of Rafael’s relatively early on in their relationship. 

“I also hope you intend to suck my dick someday too.” 

“Okay, okay,” Sonny chuckles. “Point taken.” 

Without further hesitation, Sonny closes his mouth around Rafael’s cock. Rafael’s eyes flutter closed. As Sonny licks and suckles and grazes with his teeth, Rafael lets out encouraging noises. Sonny takes Rafael to the back of his throat and moans, letting Rafael know it’s okay to move his hips. As usual, he starts off slow, not wanting to make Sonny choke too fast. He quickens and deepens his thrusts, as Sonny takes them. 

“You’re so good, Sonny. I love that you let me do this to you.” 

Without warning, Sonny’s throat flutters around Rafael’s dick, and he cries out, and his hands flex and then grip tightly in Sonny’s hair, pulling him off quickly. Sonny looks up at him, confused. Rafael takes a second to catch his breath and take in the sight of his lover. Sonny’s eyes are wet and his mouth is even wetter, spit and pre-cum dribbling down his chin, a thin strand of spit still connecting Rafael’s cock to Sonny’s bruised and swollen lips. Sonny wipes his mouth off with the back of his hand and bites at his lip nervously.

“Don’t wanna cum yet. Want you in me,” Rafael says, reaching down to press his thumb against Sonny’s lips affectionately. 

“Do you have any condoms or lube?” Sonny asks. 

“Lube, yes. Condoms, no,” Rafael says frowning, his tone growing brazenly impatient and frustrated. “I didn’t come here with the intention of having sex with anyone other than myself.” 

“Relax, Rafael,” Sonny whispers, running his hands up Rafael’s chest and settling on his shoulders. “I know we’re always safe, but maybe— Are you okay with not using a condom?” 

“I— yes, I haven’t been with anyone since we started seeing each other.” 

“Good, neither have I.”

“You weren’t exposed to anything while you were under, were you?” 

Sonny shakes his head and says, “No, wasn’t that risky of an assignment.”

“Okay, good,” he says, nodding fervently. “Then fuck me.” 

“Wow, I love it when you sweet talk me. So sexy,” Sonny teases.

“Would you rather I ask you to make love to me, Sonny?” Rafael huffs. 

“Actually, yeah, kinda. It’s sweet when you say it like that. Makes it sound— _divine_.” 

Rafael pauses to bite his lip, tipping his chin up in silent contemplation, and studies Sonny’s features briefly. 

“Make love to me, Sonny,” Rafael says, soft and sweet. 

It’s genuine, and Sonny melts right on the spot. 

“Of course, Rafael,” Sonny whispers. “Where’s the lube?”

Rafael nods toward his suitcase, open on the floor. Sonny wastes no time retrieving it and pops the cap, applying lube liberally to his fingers, rubbing them to warm the liquid up. Sonny takes his time preparing Rafael, moving his fingers in and out slowly, deliberately brushing his lover’s prostate until he’s openly whining. By the third finger, Rafael’s cock is dripping a steady stream of pre-cum, and his eyes are watering, droplets of water dancing on his lashes and falling every time Sonny pushes in with his fingers. Rafael is begging him with his entire body to _do something_ , but Sonny wordlessly refuses until Rafael uses his own words. 

“Please, Sonny, I need you inside me.” 

That’s all Sonny needs to rock back on his heels and bring Rafael’s legs up around his waist. Sonny applies more lube to his cock and lines up, pressing the tip against his hole, waiting for Rafael’s permissive nod. 

“Jesus fucking Christ,” Sonny mutters, pushing in slowly. 

The heat is almost overwhelming, but he could absolutely get used to this feeling of total closeness with Rafael. There’s nothing separating them, and _goddamn_ if this isn’t the most beautiful thing they’ve ever done. Sonny is right. _It is_ _divine._

“Yes, fuck,” Rafael groans, his hands drifting to Sonny’s hips, urging him to push in faster. 

“We should’ve stopped using condoms a long time ago.” 

“We’re not using them anymore, got it?” 

“Absolutely,” Sonny agrees, dropping his head to Rafael’s shoulder as he bottoms out. “This is— _you_ are incredible. I mean, you’re always tight, but this is—” 

“I know,” Rafael whispers. “I feel so close to you. You can move now.” 

Sonny moves almost painfully slow at first, but they quickly fall into a rhythm. Slow and deep seems to be what’s doing the most for both of them today. Rafael’s hands explore Sonny’s body, starting with his chest and sliding upward across the slopes of his strong shoulders, finally settling in his hair, where he plays with Sonny’s salt-and-pepper locks fondly, where it has fallen down over his forehead. They kiss deeply, their tongues dancing, and Rafael bites at Sonny’s bottom lip desperately. 

Spurred by the sensation, Sonny speeds up, and adjusts his angle, making sure to nail Rafael’s prostate with every snap of his hips. Rafael’s mouth drops open in pleasure, and his brow furrows. He moves to take Rafael’s cock in his hand, but Rafael slaps his hand away before he can make contact. 

“Gonna cum from just my cock, Rafi?” 

“Yeah, just don’t stop.” 

Sonny groans because he wouldn’t dare. With every thrust, Rafael rolls his hips, chasing his orgasm with every movement. He whimpers softly when he realizes he’s about one or two well-aimed thrusts against his prostate from finishing. 

“Fuck, Sonny, _I love you_ ,” Rafael shouts, as he cums so hard his vision goes black. 

Sonny’s thrusts stutter at Rafael’s words, and as his body spasms, Rafael pulls Sonny in close and tightens around him. Sonny spills immediately, his vision flashing white as he fills Rafael up. 

They stay like that for a minute, catching their breath and collecting their thoughts. Sonny slips out with a wince, and Rafael hums. Sonny moves to leave, but before his feet can even hit the floor, Rafael grabs his hand and pulls him back into bed. 

“Was just gonna go get a washcloth to clean you up.” 

“It’s okay, leave it,” Rafael says and waves his hand flippantly. 

“Doesn’t feel weird?” Sonny asks.

“No, I kind of like it,” Rafael admits. 

“Who are you, and what have you done with the love of my life?” 

“Shut up and hold me. Please?”

“Of course, _impostor_.” 

“Your Spanish accent really needs work, you know?” 

“Good thing I have you to teach me then, huh?”

“Good thing. I’m really glad you came. I didn’t think I’d miss you this much,” Rafael whispers as if saying it quietly makes the confessions he’s made have any less magnitude, but to Sonny, it— Rafael, his words, _all of it_ — is still everything. Sonny pulls Rafael close and kisses the top of his head and hums, the most content he’s been in as long as he can remember. 

“I love you too, by the way.”

“I’m sorry I said it like that. I meant it though.” 

“No, it was perfect. Happy anniversary, Rafael.” 

Rafael squeezes Sonny around his middle and snuggles in closer to his chest, inhaling deeply and placing a chaste open-mouthed kiss over Sonny’s heart. 

“Happy anniversary, Sonny.” 

* * *

**+1.** **_anytime you want to tell them to me_ **

Sonny’s finger hovers above the arrow, debating whether to hit send or not. He doesn’t want to bother Rafael, but he has the overwhelming urge to share his feelings with him. He desperately hates sleeping apart from Rafael, and for Sonny, distance certainly makes the heart grow fonder. Sonny shrugs and decides Rafael deserves to know how he’s feeling, whether he sees it tonight or in the morning. 

> Sonny 🌎: _sleep well. see you tomorrow_ 😘

Sonny doesn’t expect a response, considering it’s 10:30 at night, and they both should be asleep right now. Less than a minute later, Sonny’s phone buzzes, and instead of a text, a picture is attached. Sonny mutters a Hail Mary under his breath before dialing Rafael’s number. He answers on the first ring.

“Really, Rafi?”

“What, didn’t you enjoy what I sent you?”

Sonny can hear the pout. 

“Oh, no, I did. _Very much._ My only complaint is that it took you until we were married to send me a nude.”

“We’re not married yet, Sonny.”

Sonny flicks his wrist so his Apple watch lights up, revealing a countdown, ticking by the second. 

“We will be in…14 hours.” 

“Keeping a countdown, _amado_?”

“Until I marry the best thing that’s ever happened to me? Of course I am.” 

“Why am I marrying such a sap?” 

“Because you’re secretly one too. Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone.” 

Rafael laughs. Sonny yearns. 

“Get some sleep. Don’t want bags under your eyes for the big day, do you? Your mother would kill you.” 

“I will,” Sonny promises. “After I look at that photo a little more.” 

“You’re welcome. That’s just a teaser for what you have to look forward to on the honeymoon.” 

“God, you’re such a tease, Rafi,” Sonny whines, but it’s all in good fun. 

“I’d give you more, but I’m _saving myself for marriage._ ” 

It’s not a serious dig. Hell, Rafael agreed to be married by Sonny’s priest, who absolutely adores Rafael, despite his lapsed faith. 

“You are insufferable, you know that?”

“That’s why you love me.” 

“One of the many reasons.”

“You know, I’m not going to say this in my vows tomorrow, so I might as well tell you now.” 

“What’s that?” Sonny asks.

“I have never been more glad to have received an unsolicited nude in my life.” 

“Fuck off,” Sonny laughs and then softens considerably. “I love you.”

“I know you do. I’ll see you in the morning. Good night, _mi amor._ ”

“Good night, Rafi.” 

Sonny places his phone on the bedside table, and pulls the covers up around his body, shivering at the cold. He wishes Rafael were there to keep him warm and regrets insisting they stay apart until the big day.

> Rafi 💍: _Te amo, amado. I can’t wait for tomorrow. Sleep well._

Sonny’s heart soars, and warmth spreads through his chest and then radiates throughout the rest of his body, warming even his toes. Rafael might not be able to wait until tomorrow, but Sonny? Sonny can’t wait to spend the rest of his life as Dominick “Sonny” Barba-Carisi, hand in hand with the best man on the planet, who he has to admit takes a really decent nude.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to soul_writerr for the beta! Your encouragement was extremely appreciated.


End file.
